The relationships to maintain the most
It comes down to the 'S's.
Good morning!
I’ve had a cup filled weekend with two cohorts of people I don’t get to spend a lot of time with these days.
By the way, when did we start ‘cohorting’ everyone? Is that a new thing? I feel like the word ‘group’ has been cancelled and we are now only allowed to call them cohorts.
Anyhoo.
The two groups were my siblings and my school friends.
It struck me very insightfully that of all our relationships in life, these two… groups… are the ones we should maintain the most.
Last night I arrived back from Adelaide (my hometown) where I attended an almost trifecta-like weekend of a 40th (sister), 50th (schoolfriend) and 70th (Uncle).
Living interstate for most of my adult-life I’ve felt the contradictory calling of my hometown for a while now.
There’s lots of reasons to go back, and lots of reasons to leave again.
Seeing both my sisters at the same time is something usually reserved for every 2nd Christmas. We all have lived in different parts of the world throughout the journey and have had to weave in and out of each others lives.
My school friends are largely still in Adelaide, with the exception of a couple who also live in Melbourne. Aside from fun reasons (reunions) and some tragic reasons (funerals) we rarely all come together as one larger group.
It struck me over the weekend that of all the relationships in life, these groups - siblings and school friends - are witnesses to more of our lives than anyone else.
More than our parents and partners.
More than our own children.
They witness more time in years, but also more in life stages and life changes.
They know us when we’re young and awkward, and they know us when we’re older and hopefully wiser.
These are the relationships to maintain and cultivate. I think perhaps more than most, but I know some people will disagree with me in terms of spouses and your own kids.
I guess I think those relationships of your inner circle operate in a different ecosystem. There’s a connection of necessity and also mutual obligation. Of help and of health. For sicker and for poorer and all that.
But the sibs and the school friends are the relationships that can pick up and drop off depending on our level of effort or contact. There’s a degree of choice in how often we engage with, and how much we engage with.
My Adelaide weekend reminded me of it in such a striking way.
Which relationships do you choose to cultivate the most?
See you in the morning,
Wade